And here we are, another year upon us and steeping with excitement and opportunity.  As we look back on 2010 and wave goodbye, it’s all too easy to look only forward, but the year was good overall…tough as nails, but good!

Alot was learned throughout 2010…how to deal with certain situations, how not to deal with other situations, what’s really important at the end of the day, what you do with your time, how to make a game and company run with $0, getting other people motivated and being a source of light…so, so much.

Dealing with people was a large uphill battle all year, and resulted in all of the shortcomings of the year from a business standpoint.  Dealing with peoplehas been my biggest issue across the boards.  I could go on a tangent about this one, but best we leave this alone for the moment.  Don’t worry though, one sweet day I’ll write a whole book about this one.  For this year, we handle this the only way we can, one day at a time.  We will find the patience and strength within ourselves to maintain–it’ll be interesting, Me entering beast mode and all!

The other lingering issue is all about funding, or lack there of.  Through sheer passion and excellence, we, COLTRAN Studios, created a game that is ready to be distributed.  We did this with 2 people, Simon and Me–one artist, and one dev.  It took about 6 months of working time to create and the results are spot on, and actually more beautiful than I had imagined.  And we did it with nothing!  So that’s a huge issue, not because Simon and I are greedy, but a little bit would go a loooonnnggg ways for us, just for absolute necessities at the least (360, XNA memberships etc…).  The goal on this note is just to make some funds so we at least see something coming down our road to success.  Fortunately, with The Hearts of Men ready for release, we may be coming close to realizing some actual capital, so we’ll take that, and hope for a good start to this new year!!

The final gripe about 2010, not enough time!!!  To start, a basic day involves getting up around 6am, handling the family business, going to the gym, going to work for 8 hours (this brings the time to around 6pm), come home and do more family things, and normally, my awesome son goes to bed around 8pm.  Phew!  At this point, when I’m completely beat to shit, is when the work day actually starts!!!  I’m not playing, this is COLTRAN’s base hours of operation (I think its 4am right now).  Somehow, we squeeze work out of this time, eyes been glossed over since leaving work, numb, backaches from hunching over a computer screen all day…just thinking about this makes me feel a bit ill/apprehensive.  That’s going to need to change, and will.  Looking forward to that very, very much.

Besides those issues, 2010 was truly the year of rebirth that I knew it to be 2 years prior.  Having a child and building a family–well, there’s nothing bigger than that.  My wife, son, and even dog are why I even try, and without them, there is no me, I do not exist in this world.  That is, and always will be priority number 1, long before anything else ever.  The amount of efforts, day in and day out it takes to raise a child is beyond words.  It’s really tough, but the great thing is, it’s just like the way the rest of the life you should surround yourself with–Whatever you put in, you will get back out.  That’s how I’m living now, and family is what teaches you that.  The rest, is just a waste of time, and I haven’t the time to share.  Family, and raising a child is a great chance for personal growth, but takes ALOT of openness, and a diehard attitude to be there, ACTIVE, each day.  Raising children is not a passive job.

Being reborn from a basic production person to a directing role has been quite a step as well.  It’s been great fun in some cases, being able to delegate tasks and create some amazing products.  As an artist, it’s really easy to want to handle everything because you have a vision, but how do you get that vision out of somebody else?  Not very easily, that’s for sure, but it’s something I’ve been needing to deal with for a long time.  It’s interesting some of the situations that arise too, because it takes every bit of reserve for me to listen to bullshit, and yet I do it.  I guess it’s good that I do it now, that way we’ll be ready in the future.  But, this carries over, and through constant re-examination of my processes, I continue to refine and polish my skills as a leader.  I’d say, considering what I hear and see, I’ve done pretty good–pat on the back for me.  Can’t wait to implement all my new strategies this year though…things are really going to get exciting!

Letting fears melt away is something amazing to be able to do.  Fear is generally what drives most folks in this sociopathic world, and that’s a really bad thing.  The fears I’ve dealt with over the last year mainly have to do with work, and having a job to support the family.  In Chicago, the game industry is extremely tough because there are no studios in the area.  So, losing a job is a constant fear–or was!  COLTRAN Studios is a huge fear of mine, not failure, as I don’t see that happening, but just overall.  Stepping into new territory, taking on risks and thoughtfully approaching them, these are fears that will hold us back.  I finally invested in the stock market, the only reason I haven’t was fear, scared to lose money (which obviously I don’t have!).  But you know what?  I fear nothing in these regards.  If you take away my paycheck, I’ll go hustle something up.  If there are no jobs, I’ll go hunt deer and eat fruit, fuck it, I have farmland in MI .  For COLTRAN, the only thing to fear is making bad decisions, and I don’t do that.  I think through the whole plan before I even start thinking about how to execute it.  I have plodded out every known path to failure, and created a roadmap that navigates around such areas.  Will some bumps still arise?  Yup.  Good thing I’m a quick witted, intelligent man!  Take it for what’s it’s worth, i’m not concerned, I have no fear of such trivial money issues.  The point is, fear is an unfortunate driving factor, but not for me.  I’ve known about it–this idea of fear being our main motivation–for a while, but now, I am willing to stand toe to toe with ALL of my enemies–and completely vanquish them, if only by coming to the understanding these fears are manifested, not real.  Silly little thoughts we keep around to stay cozy.  It’s never been to cozy over here…

Pushing my creative limits in 2010 was a big deal.  Cutesy style art has never been my strong point, but it’s what I’ve been doing for the last 3000 art hours (during the day at least) of my time.  It’s not easy to continually work around your style, let me tell you.  But, it’s fun because the challenge is always there.  That’s something I believe real artists find inspiration from, taking on a new set of challenges, understanding, and then executing them.  When you can do that, it not only gives you another level of skill to your toolbelt, but also creates a great feeling of accomplishment…win win I believe they say  In 2011, we’re going back though, to what we do.  There’s going to be alot of 3d, alot of 2d, and probably not much on the cute end.  Things are going to get a bit–crazy, I suppose.  Linework is going to be insane.  Models are going to be grotesque.  Alot of character is going to course through COLTRAN studios heart this year…alot.  Excited just thinking about it!!!

And the games…ohhhhh, the games of COLTRAN.  Where will we end up in 2011?  Will we show up at game conventions?  Will we hit Xbox Live Arcade by our own means?  Will we even get The Hearts of Men through peer review???  Who knows such things, only the Oracle perhaps–but I do know we’ll keep trying.  To start with, we’ll be ramping up production on a new title codenamed “Operation: Thunder N Lightning”.  Sure, the name may be silly, but the gameplay is insane.  We’re going full 3d, so it’s been a few years for me since being in full on production mode, but I’m pumped, and the rest of the dev staff is too for this one.  After we conclude that, we have another great game lined up, and then another…and then another!  Like I said, there simply is not enough time

That’s it.  I say welcome to 2011, it’s going to be one heck of a year!!  See you in the future later,

JZ